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How to Write Sex Scenes that Pop: 5 top erotica writing tips any author can use

Updated: May 9


A couple in a steamy embrace as the male holds a pen to a journal

How to Write Sex Scenes that Pop: 5 top erotica writing tips any author can use


How do you approach writing sex scenes for your novel that won't bore the bejeezus out of your reader? Despite the time-worn adage that sex sells, sometimes sex isn't enough, and quite honestly, depending on how you present it, sex can be quite dull. So, to help you enhance your storytelling by being able to craft engaging sex scenes no matter the genre you write, here are five top writing tips any author can use to make their sex scenes pop.


1. Build Tension Gradually

Sex is very much a psychological act. Often, the mental buildup and psychological anticipation of the act can be even more fulfilling than the act itself. Likewise, as a writer, don't feel the need to rush into the act itself. Instead, use that time to create tension between the characters, build anticipation, and gradually escalate the emotional stakes. Allow the chemistry to build, then simmer, then build some more, creating a magnetic pull between your characters that will inevitably draw the reader in. This slow burn keeps readers invested and makes the eventual payoff more satisfying.


A magical couple lean towards each other over a cup of tea, surrounded by enchanted fire and dust

2. Develop Multi-dimensional Characters

For your audience to truly connect with the passion of the scene, your characters need to feel real. Poorly written or one-dimensional characters will pull the reader out of the world you've created for them. To make your scenes genuinely memorable:


  1. Focus on creating well-rounded characters with depth and complexity.

  2. Give them unique personalities, aspirations, and flaws.

  3. Make them relatable by exploring their past, fears, weaknesses, and desires - the things that make them vulnerable.


Readers connect more with characters they can relate to, and this emotional investment heightens the impact of romantic moments.


3. Messy Is Memorable

Out of all the things we've experienced in our lifetime, aren't some of the moments we remember best when things, for better or worse, didn't go as planned? We as humans are imperfect, including when two (or more) sweaty, bumbling bodies come together for coitus. It doesn't have to be perfect. It can be awkward, bumbling, and embarrassing, and those moments will tend to be the most memorable scenes you'll write.


4. Challenge Your Characters

Pushing your characters past their comfort zone will instantly elevate any passage. For example, instead of having her make love in a naughty French maid outfit, what if she was self-conscious about it? Now, you instantly have more nuance to explore and engage the reader. What if a hyper-alpha male was confronted with the fact that he could taste himself on his lover's lips? What if someone is not sure they can perform a sex act to their lover's satisfaction, or a playboy is distracted while making love to the night's conquest by a feral cat intently watching him at the window? As you provide insight into the characters' inner dialogue and emotions, your insight into their internal struggles and insecurities will add depth to the scene, allowing readers to connect with their vulnerabilities and create a more intimate and engaging experience.


5. Surprise Your Readers

Keep your readers on their toes by introducing unexpected elements into your romance scenes. Stay away from clichés and explore unique twists that defy expectations. This element of surprise adds excitement and prevents predictability, making your scenes stand out and leaving a lasting impression on your audience, which is crucial in creating a word-of-mouth inertia around your story.


A writer at a typewriter scribbling on a notepad

Incorporating these writing tips into your sex scenes will elevate your storytelling, making your work more engaging and memorable. As you implement these strategies, remember that authenticity and creativity are crucial to distinguishing yourself. Happy writing!


- Sasha LeFleur

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